Tale of a Fallen Demon
by SpeaksInRiddles
Summary: Really AU-ish. We all know Padmé Amidala was but a pawn in Sidious' plan. But what if she had been a knowing one. Deathbed-fic. Follows canon except for that one changed fact.


**AN:** Drabble: Dark AU-ish. features Padme on her deathbed. I didn't go back to watch the movies for this, and I apologize in advance, if I made some mistakes.

[by the way, since the question was posed in the review of my previous 'AU-ish' Star Wars story. I use AU-ish, or semi-AU, for stories like this and 'Choices', that, while not exactly canon, do not diverge from it either, not really at least.

Take Choices for example; Obi-Wan might have had the potential to be the CO, but seeing how Qui-Gon chose Anakin anyway, it's a moot point, and everything still happened the canon-way.

Not to be rude, but as far as I know -and I know little, I admit that- Padme wasn't exactly fleshed out. Well, okay, I'm unfair here, her character had some depth, but what exactly do we know about her inner workings? Who says - *rolls eyes* apart from George Lucas- she wasn't in fact Sidious' knowing pawn? I didn't change any of her actions, but merely her motivation for doing what she did. Seeing as we never actually had access to her thought-processes -besides observations made by outsiders- she could very well have been.

I mean, Well-hidden ill intent is just as likely to be the reason behind the 'bad' decisions the supposedly 'strong-willed' great politician made, as being blinded by love, optimism and idealism is. Wait... scrap that. If the latter was true, she would never have survived in politics. The others might humour her, but they wouldn't take her as seriously as they have. Even if the Nabooans -forgot the correct plural- value the purity *coughnaivitycough* of childhood, others don't and would ruthlessly take advantage of her.. Another point for my secretly-evil-Padme theory, besides the fact that her mentor is a Sith Lord, and her husband eventually turned dark too, partly because of his love for her...

Anyway, to the story...

* * *

You lie here, you warrant a guess, and you conclude you're in a state of shock. It would explain the giddyness you feel, your mind wanders, and you decide you must be. It would explain your train of thought.

_~Lying on the table the ever-lying girl knew~_

* * *

You think back to when you were younger, and you first met him. The Force had swirled around the boy in ways you had not thought possible. The astounishment you felt was mirrored by the unsuspecting Jedi Master at your side. Unlike him, yours though, is hidden behind nearly impenetrable shields, and your face remained blank. A task made easier by the fact that you were forewarned, after all your master had already spoken of him. Of his plans for the boy in front of you, and how you fit into his schemes.

You were young, and even though you weren't naive anymore~

[how could you be, with a master like that]

~the smallest sliver of your innocence still remained. In a moment of weakness you wondered if it was the right thing to do. You mercilessly crushed that thought, of course it wasn't. After all, you were a Sith. Doing the 'right thing' was not in the job description. The doubt, however short-lived, still lowered your defenses, which was what allowed a seemingly innocent question to form a crack.

Are you an angel?

Your heart constricted as the big blue eyes looked up to you. If only he knew how far from the truth it was. Would he still look at her like that if he was aware of the dark future you and your master would bring him?

That night you dreamed. the sensation of falling, the fires of Hell, black feathers shattered around your broken body, a bulge apparent under your dress. You woke up covered in sweat. The nightmare gave you a sense of foreboding, but you shrugged it off as a dream caused by a guilty conscience.

* * *

In the here and now, you weakly berate yourself, only now realizing it was a vision. Now that you remember the dream you had long since forgotten, how could you not? Are you not wearing the exact same clothes you saw back then now? Did the hell you saw not resemble Mustafar to a T? The dark feathers had not been a sign of your black heart, but of his Fall.

* * *

A few days, a podrace, and an encounter with Maul later, when you are back on the ship, which was merrily making its way to Coruscant, you set your master's plan in motion, and you used the Force to plant a seed in his mind, one that over the years, continued to strengthen the admiration he felt for you. Even with your indoctrination you feel sick for doing so.

Before you addressed the Senate, your ma-... No, Senator Palpatine came for you. Not-so-subtly advising you what to do. You got the hint, it was time for the next step in his master-plan. A vote of No Confidence was called. Valorum got his one-way ticket out, and as planned Palpatine was chosen.

Later, you, along with your Jedi escorts, returned to Naboo. With help of the Gungans you managed to 'retake' your city. That night, it is difficult to maintain your mask. You were almost grateful for master Jin's death, as it allowed you to mourn for a fallen friend, albeit not the one that your people think you were missing.

* * *

Years passed, and for a short time you could pretend you were normal. Delude yourself to ignore the facts. The fact that you were a knowing pawn in Palpatine's quest to conquer the galaxy, or that you were a Sith Apprentice in all but name -You could never understand why Sidious pretended to stick to that rule-. Things changed though, and the illusion shattered. Darth Sidious was moving again, and Anakin Skywalker reentered your life. The little boy you met on Tatooine had grown into a fine young man.

You are supposed to act reluctant for Jedi protection. Something which you didn't have to work hard to fake. While you do not blame the Jedi, as you are aware of the fact that Sidious was probably behind everything, it does not make it easier for you to forget what you lost. Lucky for you -although anticipated-

* * *

He asked you if you had loved before, and while your countenance remained pleasant, on the inside you clammed up. You had in fact. You could never tell the truth to the Jedi though, so you lie, talking about a boy Palo. A tale loosely based on someone you met at the Legislative Youth Program. To be truthful, you never approached him, but Anakin wouldn't know that, and it sated his curiosity.

In the back of your mind a nagging little voice wanted to talk about the Zabrak you had known since a young age, when you visited the chancellor's house. You had gotten lost in the gardens, and, after he had made you promise never to mention meeting him to the Senator, he guided you back to the mansion. Once you had gotten back he disappeared befor you could thank him.

Later you realized your silence had probably spared him a bout of Sith Lightning.

When you had gotten wholly roped up in Darth Sidious' plots, and you finally got properly introduced, he was no longer the kind boy you remembered. Sidious had long since beaten that out of him. Some of the old him still remained though, shining through in the smaller things. During training he went easier on you on the days Sidious had pushed you to far. As well as always treating your burns, as gently as he could, after one thing or another displeased their master while you were in zapping-radius. Of course, he would never admit it, especially not in Palpatine's hearing range, but the way his eyes softened when gazing at you, no longer filled with the hate that usually shone in them, when he thought you were not looking, told you enough.

A long time ago you had decided to someday approach him about your feelings, preferably when Sidious was no longer among the living.

That had been three weeks before the Blockade.

* * *

In the end, you did die of a broken heart. Even though you did not love him in the way a wife should love her husband, you did care for him in your own way. You did not choose to die because of his betrayal, far from it, but because of your own guilt, seeing as you were the one that betrayed him.

You could not forgive yourself for knowingly helping in the creation of the monster that was Vader. You hated yourself for it, for the way you had helped corrupting him, lying to him, manipulating him at every turn. How it had twisted him, slowly but surely destroying the boy you had come to care about.

This regret...

In your final moment of weakness, you beg Obi-Wan to save him, knowing that he deserves it, deserves more than hell, more than her. You are sure you will burn forever. It was in your nature after all, and crime begets punishment.

You breathe your last breath, knowing that everything will be fine. That he will rise from where he has fallen, and fly amongst the heavens once more.

Of the two of you, you were never the one who was an angel.


End file.
